I dont know for sure when I found out that Santa Claus doesnt exist or that fairy tales belong only the pages of some ordinary book. Actually I dont know if the scepticism of a parent disappointed with the tales of real life allowed me to these infantile delusions. I grew up hearing that "witches are things of the devil, that dancing is sinful or that those who pierce the ears go to hell ...
A childhood filled with hardship seems to have placed me in this eternal search for my own fairy tale with a Prince Charming who takes the princess somewhere far away, where they can live happily ever after ... but as said the wistful Cassia Eller ... "the 'forever' ever ends up" and my anxiety always drops the prince of the horse.
I guess I haven´t been a "good girl" lately, at least according to the principles of others, which insist on going in the opposite direction of mine. I tried, I swear I tried ... but it is not an easy task to circumvent your own essence, ironically shaped by those who reject it. I´m tired of being who others want me to be ... I got tired of hiding behind the others believe just to keep them by my side. tired!
Im tired of measuring the words, of smiling when I want to cry, of going back when I wish to go ahead, and Im tired of saying no when saying yes would get me much happier.
Help! Someone let me out of my cocoon!
I´m not a saint nor am bitch! I'm just someone seeking a balance between these two ends.
That´s it
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