beirut - elephant gun

Listening to this song makes me feel like runing on some nice road with a wonderful landscape with wide open arms, feeling the wind on my face and my hair flying... I can almost fly...

although I can just understand some loose words... lol its abt the melody

The Intensity of a short life!!!

I take a bus every single day...
I watch the landscape leaving behind with kid's eyes, eager for the unknown...
Its like my life passing by... Im a traveler on this world and it bothers me to know I'll be left behind...
I feel my life draining through my fingers. Wish I could just close my hands and keep it!
Today I feel so alive! I wanna take every vestige of life that still left me, put inside a bottle and drink at once!! I wanna get drunk with life!
I wanna dance! I wanna cry! I wanna scream! I wanna laugh! I wanna hug! I wanna kissssssss!
I wanna fall in love desperately! I wanna live!!!

Live with all the possible intensity, with no regrets, no guilty!!!


Guess I must be suffering from some kind of excess hormone... ahahahaha

remembrances

I cant´t even remember how many times I was disapointed with stuff I had planned for so long and when they happened, they didnt reach my expectations. "expectations" that´s where the problem lies... I always expect for the best, for the perfect! and once it comes true, the reality shows itself quite boring.

In the other hand, unplanned things have always gone above the best expectations.
mosquitos at night... dog's water to drink... barefoot on burning sand, stomachache caused by excess of wine... we don´t plan things like that for a perfect day, but these little "crazy details" give a special taste to remembrances that will last forever in my mind. remembrances of days I was happy being myself, being exactly where I wanted to be.

When we have no expectations even the star lights seem to bright more on a silent night where all we can hear is the sound of the waves telling us to share, to feel, to love...
as the snow stuck inside a "snowglobe" all these feelings are here, stuck inside my heart, just waiting to be shaken...

I love pictures!!!

It's been cloudy lately. the colours get amazing when the weather is like that. the green gets greener, the contrast among the colours make things more alive... I'm planing to go around taking pictures of everything. It might be relaxing. I love taking pictures... A picture extracts the best of something or someone. its just a matter of angle. which can be a good or a bad thing... You might get disapointed with the real thing after you've seen just "A piece of the truth" ( that's how I use to define picture) With the advent of the digital camera and photoshop, my definition makes even more sense.
So, my advise... Don´t get so delighted cause of a picture, it might be just a nice shot... hehehe

getting older...

4 days left...
Every day I wake up older but wihin 4 days I'll be oficially older...
It's gonna be special cause, well, u only make 26 once in life!!! lol
WOW how can I keep this "teen" way of life when im almost on my 30's?
not sure if this is good or bad...
anyway...
i keep writing things and deleting... my subjectivity doesnt allow me to post some stuffs here ahaha otherwise I'd be like "dear diary, today he was on line" lol
sometimes subjectivity gets me bored though...
well, I was talking about my age!
I'm close to 30! It was not on my plans to be a single girl with no kids at the age of 26... but I am. It doesnt suck as much as I thought it would. But I still dream about it! Although I've had some frustrating experiences with love, I never give up of it!
No, im not drunk! just sleepy... and my brain doesnt seem to work so well tonight.
I'll go to bed and hope for some inspiration for the next days...

drama drama drama

Wish I could post here whats going on. But I can´t let myself mess my life even more...
maybe I´m missing the chance to become all my endless drama into a Woody Allen's movie lol he could read this eventually... u never know.
but its ok, I guess I can live anonymously hehe
I just can´t handle my life the way it is.
I guess maturity never came into my life, and now I'm having a hard time trying to fix things messed by my imaturity.
I'm always afraid to miss a chance... then i get them all... but deep inside I know which one i want to pick! even though I don´t know if its the best for me.
Wish I could die for awhile, till things cool down and then come back :) but I'd be also afraid to realize I'm not missed by anyone...
i guess I found a new adjective to describe myself...
---- COWARDICE ----

my legs hurt
im sleepy
im tired
im bored
im angry
im careless
I'd better go to sleep...
looking forward to the new year and the things it's gonna bring to me...